I have been a born again Christian for nearly 20 years, and I’ve studied the Bible and attended college level Bible courses, but I have never studied the meek and quiet spirit that scripture speaks of. When I found a book by Matthew Henry, a Puritan pastor, which was written in the late1600's on this very subject, I decided to read it. As I passed from chapter to chapter, I questioned myself of whether I had this spirit he spoke of. Scripture shows in 1 Peter 3:4 that God places great value in the ones that possess a meek and quiet spirit, so I hoped that together we can see where we stand in this gifting.  

     Meekness is spoken of as an adornment that is incorruptible. It is a softness of temper, gentleness, forbearance under provocation and injuries, void of passion, pride, and immoderate anger. Meekness enables us to control our own anger when we are provoked, and patiently bear the anger of others while not allowing it to excite anger or cause resentment in us. It is a fruit of the Holy Spirit in those Christians that are yielded to Him, and not brought about by self-effort. Meekness is more than the words we speak and the actions we display, it is the spirit behind those words and the intentions behind those actions. In some translations it is called self control. Meekness is the peaceful assurance that God is in control.

     When someone possesses the ornament of quietness in spirit, they speak soothing words, they are a peacemaker, they pass up the temptation to be sharp and hurtful, and they deny the desire to be boastful and selfish. They are gentle and mild, patient and kind, and they are not argumentative, pushy, self assertive, unkind or rude. Quietness is the evenness, the composure, the rest of the soul, which speaks both the nature and the excellency of the grace of meekness. The greatest comfort and happiness of man is sometimes set forth by quietness (Matthew Henry).

     In 1 Timothy 6:11 we are told to follow after righteousness, godliness, faith, love, patience, and meekness.  I believe it takes seeking after the first five qualities in that verse before you begin to show the of meekness and quietness in our lives. If you continue to carry unforgiveness, bitterness, anger, and resentment in your life, then you will prevent the working of meekness and quietness. You will block the flow of the Holy Spirit, and the destructive spirit of the flesh will be what flows from your life. When you work through all these issues that are blocking the flow of the Spirit, you will then begin to see these gifts start to operate.

     A changed life speaks loudly and clearly, and it is often the most effective way to influence your family members for Christ. In 1 Peter 3:3&4, Peter instructed Christian wives to develop inner beauty rather than being overly concerned with their appearance. This is because their husbands and families would be won by their love, rather than by their looks. This brings to mind what my husband says to me sometimes. He feels that the perfect woman is mute. Why? Because then he doesn’t have to hear their sharp words and their complaining. Of course he had me in mind when he said this, but it is the perfect example of how our words and actions affect the ones we love. I’m sure Peter felt that way when he said we should work on the inner man. What a jewel in our husband’s eyes we would be if only blessings flowed from our mouths, and not complaining, orders, or anger.

    Please don’t take me wrong about spending time on our appearance, because our dress is a reflection of what is on the inside of us. But you can have your dress down to your ankles, cover your head, and speak with a sweet voice and still be a snake in the grass. Modest dress and quiet and gentle behavior may be a facade for a raging and boiling spirit. When the spirit is truly gentle, the behavior will reflect the reality. You will not need to grit-your-teeth with effort.

     One thing that today’s woman has been told is to be assertive. Feminism has told women they need to push their way upward in the workplace with assertiveness, and unfortunately they have brought it home with them in a damaging way. It took many years of deprogramming after getting off of active duty military to learn not to be assertive and demanding with my husband. I nearly unraveled my marriage. I think assertiveness is good in some situations, but being quiet is probably better.

     If you still aren’t certain whether you possess the spirit of meekness and quietness, ask your husband. It often takes years to bring to maturity. Pray that God will work in your life to cultivate a mantle of meekness and quietness. Praying and reading your Bible will not be the only thing that makes it manifest, but it is a start.

Meek: mild, humble, strength under control

Quiet: peaceable, knows how to remain quiet in contention